Parents get frustrated
Parenting can be one of the most rewarding experiences in life, it can also be one of the most challenging. Most parenting styles and beliefs have been passed down from generation to generation, evolving through generational patterns. Raising children is a tremendous responsibility and without it, we would not have the human race function as it does. Unlike animals, human beings develop and reach maturity at a much slower rate and in a more diverse environment. In addition, human beings have emotions that are distinct and influenced by so many different factors that it makes being a human being way more complicated. The responsibility of parenting is such a highly emotional experience and an up and down roller coaster. Parents get frustrated because they want to give their children their best, and there is no “perfect” way to parent. So, the root cause of that frustration is generally driven by a fear of making a mistake.
Parenting can be an ongoing journey of second-guessing if they are doing the right thing, fearing they may impact the well-being and future of their child. This can sometimes lead to using a firm approach that is non-negotiable and rule-driven to create boundaries in hopes to keep their kids safe. There is a quote that says: “Trying to please everyone is a recipe for stress, misery, and frustration.” This illustrates the frustrations of being a parent when trying to please your children while also teaching them right from wrong successfully.
Parents are, after all, human beings, with their own insecurities, doubts, and challenges, and taking on the responsibility of parenthood, which is a lifetime commitment, can create a sense of pressure, as well as great joy and satisfaction. It is that sense of pressure of getting it “right” that is the source of so much frustration a parent can experience. Remember there is no perfect way to parent. It is a gift and an opportunity to help shape the future, instilling positive mindsets, and great values so the next generation can carry that into the world and spread kindness. When you are doubting yourself, don’t beat yourself up, and always remember that love for your child is what is driving that fear of making a mistake.
PARENTS GET FRUSTRATED and today’s focus is on our wonderful parents. We encourage you to LET GO OF FRUSTRATION and LET LOVE IN!
Let us first begin with a brief understanding of what frustration is and how it happens. Frustration is a combination of fearful thoughts based on:
- And disappointment.
Frustration often comes from fear. For example, if your child expresses they don’t like the fact you took away a game or stopped them from hanging out with a certain friend, you could fear that you are being too harsh, or fearful you are failing as a parent. It is natural to second guess yourself and be afraid of disappointing others. Frustration is designed to make you want to give up or succumb to something you don’t believe in because it is easier. Being frustrated distinctly impacts your mind by clouding it, yet the great news is that you CAN learn new ways to think and conquer frustration.
So, let’s begin the process of shifting how you think when it comes to things you become frustrated about. It is not an instant remedy, but with enough practice, you can begin to turn that thinking around.
Tips to break the frustration habit:
- ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE FRUSTRATED. This may seem unhelpful but once you can understand how the brain functions when it comes to your thinking, you will realize that what you resist persists and that includes thoughts of being frustrated. Rather than trying to stop or get rid of a frustrating thought, give yourself permission to have it. It is just a thought and that thought will pass.
- DON’T MAKE YOUR FRUSTRATION WRONG: It is okay to be frustrated, no one has the perfect manual on how to be the perfect parent. As life evolves so do the techniques of parenting. You need to give yourself a mental break by allowing the emotion of frustration to pass without GUILT. Making yourself wrong is just another form of resistance that will create more frustration because you will become frustrated with yourself for making yourself wrong! It’s a vicious cycle that just takes practice to interrupt.
- CREATE SAFE CONVERSATIONS: Creating opportunities for both you and your kids to express yourselves is the key to bringing resolution. Create RULES OF ENGAGEMENT. Giving permission to each other to say what needs to be said with no interruption. When communicating with kids remember they have big brains, massive hearts and they can handle the truth. Do not sugarcoat anything, instead, be transparent and teach them what honest communication looks like. When it’s their turn to speak, resist the urge to react, defend or justify themselves. This will train both of you in having responsible and productive conversations.
- TAKE TIME TO JOURNAL: Write out in detail what makes you frustrated and why. Allow yourself the time and space to write it all out-don’t edit yourself. Tell your journal how you really feel!
- PRACTICE POSITIVE THINKING: Give yourself and your kids the benefit of doubt. Catch yourself when you “assume” anything. Negative assumptions lead to negative thoughts and negative thoughts lead to frustration and the emotion of frustration leads to angry outbursts. It is important to catch the anger bubble before it bursts. LOL. So, the moment you make an assumption, stop and ask yourself? “Am I giving the benefit of doubt to my kid?” Your love for them will help you see the truth. And even when you have A LOT OF EVIDENCE, STOP, and review the above steps. LET GO OF THE FRUSTRATION.
- READ, REFLECT and REPEAT: When you feel that frustration in your thoughts again, review all steps and focus on the ones that will pull you out of your frustration bubble. As you practice letting GO of FRUSTRATION it is important to practice self-compassion and self-love. Remind yourself how amazing you are. Raising children is a big responsibility and your kids would not be able to GROW into amazing adults without you. Thank you for being dedicated to letting a TREMENDOUS amount of LOVE OUT, so you can create amazing people for the future.
Whether you are a parent, grandparent, or guardian YOU ARE a testimony that your courage, love, and commitment to parenting is the gift we all need to thrive. On behalf of our family at IDareU2Bee.com, we thank you for who you are!