PARENTS FEEL GUILTY
Parenting is one of the most rewarding experiences in our lifetime and at times it can feel like an up and down roller coaster of emotions. From joy to anxiety to excitement and exhaustion all in one day. There is no playbook on how to be the perfect parent, yet one thing that almost all parents can say is that there is no kind of love like the love you have for your kids. When love is so strong, you want to give your very best and do the right thing which is not always easy. Along with parenting comes the curse of GUILT.
I love this quote by Donna Ball: “Parenthood is a choice you make every day to put someone else’s happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you’re not sure what the right thing is, and to forgive yourself over and over again for doing everything wrong.”
This quote sums up in a sentence what parenting can look like, especially the words “to do the right thing even when you’re not sure what the right thing is.” With today’s busy lifestyles, life can look different for every family. As a result, many parents struggle with being able to do it all. Working full time, then picking up the kids, rushing home to make dinner, helping the kids with homework, preparing them for bed, passing out and doing it all again the next day. When your children just want to spend time with you and you are exhausted, you do not have the energy to play barbies, trucks or lego. So many parents struggle with saying no, but then by the time their head hits the pillow they dwell in guilt with visions of their kids’ sad eyes of disappointment imprinted in their brains.
Unfortunately, guilt comes with parenting and only because of how much you love your children and how important their happiness is to you. With that being said, it is so important that you understand that your guilt can have a direct impact on your own mental and emotional health, which can then be passed on to your kids.
Being a parent is not easy and you have to make a lot of hard decisions every day some would be right, and some would be wrong. You have to accept that and not feel guilty about it as what you do when you are feeling guilty, will mostly not be the right thing for the children.
The words tough love may sound hard, but that discipline will support your children in developing life skills like responsibility, confidence, self-respect, and a good work ethic that will help them become great leaders. To all the parents out there, hold strong to your values and remember those moments of tantrums, screams, cries, and pouting will pass, YOUR LOVE will always be there. So be kind and patient with yourself, we understand that you may feel guilty and it is a natural part of parenting.
Today’s focus is on our wonderful parents. We encourage you to LET GO OF GUILT and LET LOVE IN!
Let us first begin with a brief understanding of what guilt is and how it happens.
Guilt is a self-conscious emotion that involves negative evaluations of the self, feelings of distress, and feelings of failure.
Parents’ guilt can be caused by many different reasons, some of them are:
- Your work schedule and commitments
- Behaviour and habits of your child
- Shouting too much at your child
- Not being able to afford everything your child demands.
Now that we have seen what causes the guilt, we should move on to the part where we focus on how we can help let go of this heavy feeling. We need to keep our spirits high and not let this feeling bring us down. Following these steps below will help release the guilt:
- Acknowledge and Talk about your guilt – Talk to someone you trust about your guilt in detail, and you will see that just by sharing you will gain a lot of clarity about what you can do to help yourself.
- Try to find the Exact Source of it – When you try to dig deep into finding the root cause of your guilt, sometimes you realize that your guilt was caused by something which was not even in your control.
- Forgive yourself and Apologize – Just don’t be too rough on yourself and forgive yourself before you apologize to the person you have hurt. Be open and apologize even to your children, it will make them be open and transparent with you as well.
- Be Grateful and focus on Self Care – Be thankful for your beautiful children and the amazing life you have. Don’t let your guilt come in the way of taking care of yourself because you deserve it.
Thank you for being dedicated to letting a TREMENDOUS amount of LOVE OUT, so you can create amazing people for the future.
Whether you are a parent, grandparent, or guardian YOU ARE a testimony that your courage, love, and commitment to parenting is the gift we all need to thrive. On behalf of our family at IDareU2Bee.com, we thank you for who you are!
Visit us again soon for more FREE tips, tools, and resources to transform your parenting experience and build kind families and kind kids.